Why I've Ghosted You

I tend to build up this anxiety. You too?

Jun 29, 2026

When my dad was alive, we spoke on the phone several times per day. He had a hard rule. “Daughters call their fathers,” he used to say. Some days, especially after becoming a lawyer or starting my business, when I’d had a particularly busy day, I’d realize somewhere around 8 or 9pm that I hadn’t called him yet that day. I’d start to panic. I knew what was in store for me once I called him (lots and lots of Jewish guilt). It didn’t exactly make me want to call him… which would only make me delay the inevitable even longer. My anxiety would build and build until it felt ready to blow. When I’d call him the next day (or maybe even two days later, if the anxiety got bad enough), he’d answered the phone, “Hello, who is this? I used to have a daughter named Sam. But I haven’t heard from her.” That was the response if I was lucky. Otherwise, he’d open with, “You know, I could be dead on the floor.”

I wonder where I got this anxiety avoidance situation from.

I just needed to rip off the bandaid and write to you, my friend. It’s been several more weeks than I wanted it to be. Of course, I’m sure you haven’t noticed. You have a full life and don’t spend your time thinking, “where did Sam go? She missed her Wednesday Substack.”

Honestly, June just got a bit busy behind the scenes. I’ve traveled way more than I thought I would heading into my entrepreneur gap year, but it’s actually been a good thing. I’ve gone to visit friends and meet their children and partners who I feel like I know so well but have never actually met in real life. I’ve hiked the forests and lush mountains of Peru. I went back to Philly for the first time since my parents died. I even had Kansas City barbecue for the first time.

I told a writer-friend last week, “I haven’t been writing as much as I’d like to lately, but honestly I’ve just been living so much that I haven’t sat down to capture it.”

A big part of why I’m on Substack is to share about how I’m actually living my life offline outside of my business and the self-induced stress of how many sales I’ve made, how many followers we’ve gained this month, or what my click-through-rate is on my newsletter. But I also love writing and reflecting on what’s going on around me. I feel the same way about my love of taking photographs. I simultaneously want to capture the moment forever and be present. It’s really hard to do both.

But I can also do this thing when I fall off of doing something that used to be part of my routine where I start to build it up in my head. One week goes by where I haven’t written my weekly essay, which leads to another, and another. After a few weeks go by, I spend more time feeling badly about falling off the wagon than I do actually getting back on it. Just like those phone calls to my dad.

Whether you haven’t walked into the gym in six months after you used to go four times a week…

Or you haven’t reached out to that friend who you used to talk to once a week…

Or you’ve ghosted your email list (or substack!) for weeks or months by accident because your kid got sick and your partner had ACL surgery…

Here’s your permission slip to pick up the phone and call. I won’t lay any of the Jewish guilt on you. I’ll just welcome you back.

So glad to be here.

If you’re reading this on the app, leave a comment below and let me know if you do this, too. We’re in it together!!

xo,

Sam